i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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