but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
