I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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