yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
