i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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