And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
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Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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