She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize