well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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