idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
