time to smoke my breakfast
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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