they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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