In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
