i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize