Don't you send me to vm
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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