Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
