Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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