Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
