i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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