I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
