Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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