used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
