i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
