Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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