Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Girls should come with a carfax report
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
