i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
