ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
