too bad you live with your parents still
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
