Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
