That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize