Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
