he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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