okay pat passed out under dana's car
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize