Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
