my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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