Are we in a gay sports bar?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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