I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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