so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
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did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
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You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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