I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
