I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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