If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I wear drunk well.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
