I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
