u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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