I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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