Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Church boner. Awkwardddd
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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