well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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