so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
