I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
