me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
