Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
