Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
