I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
