U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I am naked and annoyed.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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