Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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