We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
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Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
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nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"