did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
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Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
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how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries