Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
