If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i came on her dog
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
