we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
