My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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