she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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