well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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