Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
