shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
