I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
