So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
