well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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