but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
