that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
